I’m dressed, now, in a suit and tie, some snazzy shoes.  I’m about to go sing in front of some people who are sick of hearing a stupid recycled cantata of carols and christmas songs every year.  Then I have to sit through mass and hear the same christmas story read out of the same book with the same monotone voice.  I wonder if there will be any weird twists or a surprise ending this year.  My money is on no.

After mass, I’ll do one of my favorite christmas traditions.  (Note: this paragraph does not contain sarcasm.)  I get to build the fire in the fireplace to be lit in the morning.  And I’ll put the coffee in the coffee maker to start brewing in the morning.  Then I’ll watch ESPN or South Park and go to sleep.  I’ll awake in the morning and start the fire.  I’m a bit of a pyro.  Love fire.  Anyway…then I’ll put on some christmas music and sit in the recliner in the living room with none but the light of the tree.  It’s probably the most peaceful part of my year.  I love it.

I will, however, know that there is something missing, for there will be presents left under the tree once we are through opening.  Valeri will not be there to tear into her gifts as we others will be.  She will not be there to share the joy that comes with each new smile, every time a new gift is opened.

I will still enjoy the morning…and the gifts, but I miss her.  Hopefully she will be able to come down to Richmond with me on the 28th.  She’s supposed to have talked with her mom today about it.  But she should be here with me.

This sucks.